MIRACLE MAKER PLANNER

Searching for a Win-Win Solution

It took me a considerable amount of time to discover and put this solution into practice. While some parents might already have this approach down pat, many households either don’t know about it or, even if they do, struggle to make it work.

The solution I eventually stumbled upon was surprisingly straightforward: getting the kids to cook their meals. It’s such a simple idea that I can’t help but feel a bit sheepish even writing it down. Yet, to get the kids to prepare their own meals independently, it took a few essential considerations and a good deal of time. My patience and hard work played crucial roles in making it happen.

First and foremost, I started this endeavor while my children still had an interest in cooking. This period is a golden opportunity not to be missed because at this stage, children are naturally motivated. However, the drawback is that kids, being inexperienced, can sometimes make a mess.

No matter how diligently the children clean up, the fact remains that the workload for parents tends to increase. A child’s disposition also plays a significant role here. If a child isn’t naturally inclined toward tidiness, even as they grow, parents may find themselves with more to clean up and organize than if they were handling the meal preparations themselves. My youngest child had a strong passion for cooking from his daycare days. For some reason, I decided to introduce him to cooking at a young age. Since then, my second child also began making her own snacks.

I was determined to limit sugar in my children’s diet. I refrained from buying sugary snacks or drinks and, instead, baked cookies with very little sugar for them myself. However, my children had developed a taste for sugar during their time at church and school. They also wanted to indulge in the same snacks as their friends. So, I made a proposal: “I’ll provide the ingredients, and you can prepare your own snacks, but use only one-third of the sugar in the recipes.”

I shared some basic guidelines and skills with the kids, and then I said, “For the rest, you should find a recipe for the snack you want to make and follow it from start to finish independently.” Following these instructions, I headed into the adjacent room and closed the door. I knew that hovering nearby would lead to unsolicited advice, and eventually, I’d take over the cooking. I didn’t feel confident about guiding the kids in a lighthearted manner. Additionally, I saw it as an opportunity to focus on something I enjoyed while they were occupied with cooking.

The children independently chose the kinds of dishes they could make according to their skill levels and progressively expanded their repertoire. This culinary journey spanned several years and, as they took on more and more challenges, their cooking skills improved. Our second child also enjoyed and excelled in cooking, but the youngest truly stands out.

Upon reaching the upper elementary school grades, the youngest started experimenting with more intricate and demanding recipes. Although there were occasional mishaps, he consistently aimed for the best possible flavors and presentation, taking inspiration from culinary maestros like Gordon Ramsay. Today, as a high school student, our budding chef occasionally takes charge of the kitchen. Observing my teenage boy confidently navigating the grocery store aisles to select ingredients is a source of great pride for me.

Taking Responsibility for My Choices

Just because the kids were busy cooking didn’t mean I could simply sit back and enjoy their culinary creations without participating. No matter how many times I reminded them about the importance of cleaning up, the children had a talent for transforming the entire kitchen into a whirlwind of chaos. I was used to keeping the kitchen neat and orderly, so I used to do quick cleaning sessions every few months to maintain its neat condition. But once the kids started using the kitchen for cooking, I often found myself in a situation where I had to clean up after their culinary adventures.

It wasn’t just the stove and kitchen floor; it was also the refrigerator, the pantry doors, the shelves, the drawers, and even the contents inside, including dishes, utensils, and spice containers. Somehow, when the kids were in the kitchen, it resulted in hours of cleaning for me – a routine that continued for several years.

“Hey, you tend to make a bit of a mess while cooking, and it can be quite a task for Mom to clean up after. Would you do me a favor and tidy up a bit every time you have a cooking session? Be more cautious not to spill, alright?” Despite being relatively grown up, he was still in the learning phase, so I didn’t hold it against him if he didn’t clean up perfectly.

Actually, I thought that handling the cleanup in the bustling kitchen while my youngest was busy cooking was a more suitable option for me. Cooking was something I didn’t particularly relish. I believed that mastering the skill of cooking was a valuable life lesson, and I was grateful that he could acquire this essential proficiency before becoming independent. Thanks to this, he occasionally graced our home with dishes that could rival those from high-end restaurants.

The Outcomes of Our Discovered Solution

Lately, I’ve been streamlining my household tasks. I’ve managed to turn my innate knack for single-mindedness into an asset. Now, I find myself at my desk, indulging in activities I truly cherish rather than the kitchen. It’s a journey of personal growth and making a difference, a continuous process of self-improvement.

Due to my consistent involvement in these fulfilling endeavors, the burden associated with chores, such as cooking and dishwashing, has significantly lightened. The sense of obligation tied to traditional gender roles that once weighed on me, along with the unpleasant emotions of sadness, frustration, and resentment I used to experience when forcing myself to undertake them, has immensely faded away.

Our kids have come to understand that cooking isn’t all fun and games; it often involves hard work and consumes time. As a result, their grumbling at the dinner table has almost disappeared, replaced by a profound appreciation for the effort that goes into meal preparation.

By adopting this fresh perspective towards problems, relentlessly seeking solutions, taking responsibility for the results, and making an effort to focus on the bright side, we’ve uncovered even more reasons to be thankful. Of course, both our children and I still have our moments of complaint, but we’re gradually breaking free from that habit. Instead, we strive to uncover solutions and put them into action.

To be continued.